Poem of the Week

The poem of the week is a new feature at Notes. If you recognize the poet, send an email and your favorite poem by the poet. I’ll post your name and the poem as soon as I have a winner. Enjoy!

My woman says there is no one but me she would rather be with,
Not even if Jove himself should ask.
So she says, but what a woman says to a passionate lover, Should be written in the winds and fast moving water.

Big Day

Not one, but two, once a year events happened today. First, I found a new apartment. It’s in the Upper West Side and is very nice, especially for the price. Second, I had McDonald’s for lunch. My double quarter pounder was very tasty, or as my clever Czech students used to say, “tasteful.” I’m not sure, but this very well could have been my first McDonalds for me since returning to the States. Looking forward to next year already.

Oh, and in my weekly tennis match with the big serving Ralph Bysiek, I was hitting my returns and made some Sportscenter worthy passing shots en route to a solid 6-3, 6-3 victory. Hooray!

Bringing the Hammer Down

My that was a clever title. And its true, Tom Delay has been indicted. Read all about it here. Now, I'm not saying the Congressional Republicans didn't have this coming...Ok, I guess I am.

Disaster Strikes

As I walked back to my car after checking out an apartment on the Upper West Side, I put my notebook, weekly planner and book on top of my car so I could open the door. See, I was engaged in an important phone call, and perhaps that was why I neglected to retrieve the items from the roof. About twenty stressful minutes later, the phone call was no walk in the park, I drove away and then heard something fall off my car. My first thought was somehow a giant parking ticket has been placed on my roof or on the back window. But a quick glance at the passenger seat revealed the utter lack of a notebook, a weekly planner and my friends loaned copy of "Fortress of Solitude." So, I muttered a quick, "Crap," pulled over, got out of the car to search for my lost belongings. Thankfully, I located them a few blocks back, got back in my car, and drove home without incident.

Is there a lesson here? Don't leave items on your rooftop. Though come to think, the last time I was in Vermont, for my brother's graduation, a pair of dress shoes made it safely from the hotel to his apartment on the roof of his car. Sometimes, life does you favors.

Blogging Abroad

Ever wondered what a human heart looks like? Recently decided you give two shits about Latin America? Realized you want to know a whole lot more about moustaches? Need to brush up on your oral history? Then check out Muscular Heart for all this and more coming to you in real time and in color straight from my favorite Fulbright scholar in Peru.

The Kitty Cats Came Back

Not the very next day, it's been about a week now. But this morning I was greeted by Midnight and Tiger Too lounging on our patio furniture. And oh, they grow up so quickly. Midnight was acting oddly; he kept putting his front paws on the sliding glass door and attempting to bite the glass door. Weird. Anyway, it's nice to have them back. They really are adorable. Right now they are grooming themselves right outside our house.

Update: I went outside to see if they would be friendly towards me. They were gone by the time I had reached the patio. But I did discover our trash can had been knocked over. Raccoons?

Random Thought

Have you ever suddenly had to switch the radio station while driving because the commercial that just came on was simply too boring or too obnoxious to listen to? And only then do you realize that you’d been listening to boring commercials for several minutes and it was only this one particularly awful commercial that snapped you out of your daze and prompted you to check your other two or three pre set radio stations.

Well if it hasn’t happened to you, let me tell you it’s an odd little feeling.

Overheard on Cable News

“Just weeks after Katrina, residents are evacuating from another once in a
lifetime storm.”

Yikes. Now, I understand that “once in a lifetime,” shouldn’t necessarily be read literally. But if two, “once in a lifetime” events occur in the same month; perhaps these events deserve a more accurate descriptive tag. I would submit, “world changing,” or “life shattering.” Admittedly both are clichéd, but certainly more accurate.

Reader Mail

In response to my Rumsfield quote:

You know, I really hope Rumsfeld turns out to be the Jason of the West, by which
I means I hope an aircraft carrier randomly falls on his head
while he is asleep - or perhaps the Ajax Major of the West, by which I mean
I hope he kills a whole bunch of sheep thinking they're the Joint Chiefs of
Staff and then commits suicide out of embarassment.

I would have to agree.

Rumsfield's Classical Education

In a recent press conference, Mr. Rumsfield continued to complain about the negative press being given to the situation in Iraq and Afghanistan. After repeating his tired assertion that such negative press only aids our enemies, he read aloud several newspaper headlines comparing Iraq to a quagmire. He then paused for emphasis and boasted that unlike the “Cassandras of the West,” who are prophesizing doom and gloom, history would look back and see a success story.

While I do hope history looks back on our occupation of Iraq as a success, Mr. Rumsfield needs to brush up on his classical mythology. Cassandra, a princess of Troy, was indeed given prophetic powers by the god Apollo. However, after she spurned his romantic advances, he cursed her so that people would not believe her accurate predictions. Let me repeat, her accurate predictions. Famously, she predicted disaster for Troy if the Trojan Horse was brought into the city. I hope we all know how that one played out. Let us hope our modern day Cassandras are not nearly accurate, but if they are, let us do a better job than the Trojans in heeding their warnings.

That Was Quick

Why do we have a gigantic budget deficit? It's all Clinton's fault. Of course it is, you crazy right wing nut job. Of course it is. How many days till they blame Clinton for the insurgency in Iraq? Just asking.

http://thinkprogress.org/2005/09/19/clintons-fault/

Typo or Truth Fart?

An article on Yahoo News contains one very unexpected paragraph:

The Iraq war diverted US attention from the war on terrorism "and undermined the support that we might have had," Bush said in an interview with an ABC's "This
Week" programme.

Clearly this was a brain fart by the writers at Yahoo News, and I won’t be surprised if this appears as an example of the liberal media bias. More significant is the entire story in which this paragraph appears. Before this week, Clinton had kept with in tradition of former Presidents who are reluctant to criticize their successor. Clinton even appeared to tacitly support the President by working with his father, former President Bush on first Tsunami Relief and now the Katrina Fund. But for whatever reason, Clinton has now changed his mind and came out with two guns firing, criticizing the President on Iraq, FEMA and borrowing from foreign countries. Look for the Republicans to start spinning and renew old attacks on Clinton, perhaps blaming the Clinton Administration for our countries current situation.

The Return of Little Mac

A must see short movie for all us former Mike Tyson’s Punch Out addicts. Sit back and start reminiscing over the first time you knocked out King Hippo, Doc’s clichéd advice and of course, Mac’s pink running outfit.

Thanks to collegehumor.com for this one.

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1599054/

Wheelchair Tennis

Yesterday, I taught my first private tennis lesson to a wheelchair tennis player. Impressive, inspiring and wow were the words that came to mind as I watched him maneuver around the court. For the first few minutes I had trouble concentrating on what he was doing right and wrong stroke wise as I was transfixed seeing him move to each ball I hit towards him. After a rally, he would begin moving back to the starting spot, gaining speed and then spinning around in a flourish to stop a few feet behind the baseline. It’s really something.

And Dylan can really hit the ball the too. Like most young tennis players his forehand is much better than his backhand and when he misses a shot he stares at his racket trying to figure out why it let him down. I was a bit nervous that not having ever played wheelchair tennis I wouldn’t be able to help him. But the tennis strokes are tennis strokes and I think I validated the steep price of the lesson early on when at my suggestion he shorted his follow through on his forehand and found instant improvement. He’s playing in a national tournament in San Diego in three weeks and he and his father, mostly his father, really want him to do well so I’ll be teaching him again tonight.

All in all, teaching tennis last night was a lot more rewarding than usual.

Bush is a Liberal

Like several liberals who strongly disagreed with me regarding how much Federal Aid should be given for disaster reconstruction, Mr. Bush also believes the Federal Government should shoulder a huge burden for natural disasters, rather than putting more of the burden on city and state governments as I suggested a few days ago. I find it curious that for once, my most liberal friends find themselves in agreement with our President.

And if I may be permitted to repeat a joke I recently read, “Someone should tell Bush we already paid for Louisiana once.”

Third World America

An article in the Washington Post provides a disturbing reconstruction of five days in the Covention Center. Every American should read this. These horrifying conditions and total governmental incompetence really happened in the United States. This is what the Republicans in Congress don't want investigated. To top everything off, apparently, two hundred National Guardsmen were inside the Convention Center, but refused to help maintain the peace.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/14/AR2005091402655_pf.html

Senate Rejects Plan to Create Independent Katrina Commission

Perhaps I am missing a crucial piece of information, but once again it appears Republicans are initially refusing to allow an effective inquiry into the failures leading up and during a natural disaster. Yes, you could argue that Senator Clinton’s proposal of an Independent Commission modeled after the 9-11 Commission is a political ploy designed to garner support for her upcoming Presidential campaign. But in this case, her actions serve to strengthen both the American people and her Presidential aspirations. I have no problem with her making herself more popular with voters by doing things that help the American people.

On the other hand, it seems clear that Republicans are aware that a large majority of the blame for our failings in the preparation for and aftermath of Katrina will fall squarely on their shoulders, specifically on the President and his Administration. Because of this, Republicans are working to block the creation of an Independent panel that would have the power to investigate effectively and through their report reveal the truth to the American people. Instead, they favor a committee whose make up would match the Republican majority in Congress and whose conclusions would spare the White House further embarrassment. What can you say? This is how these things go.

What may be most a galling about the actions of the Republicans in Congress is how they are clearly going against the wishes of the American people. “In a CNN/USA Today Gallup poll taken September 8-11, 70 percent of those surveyed supported an independent panel to investigate the government's response to Katrina. Only 29 percent were opposed.” This seventy percent isn’t just coastal liberals and bush haters, they are Americans from all walks of life and all political stripes, but the people they elected to represent them are ignoring them just the same.

Let’s just hope enough popular pressure can be put on the Republicans to force them to allow the creation of a commission that can investigate the failures of our preparation and response to Katrina and make recommendations just like the 9-11 Commission. And then maybe, just maybe, the Administration could enact the recommendations and our country could become a little safer. I wouldn’t hold your breath though.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/09/14/katrina.washington.ap/index.html

Confirmation Hearing

I’ve watched a fair amount of the Robert’s hearing and have had a variety of reactions. First off, a level of disgust at the Senators on both sides of aisle for their self important, self-congratulatory opening statements. As Dahlia Lithwick wrote over at Slate, “Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., describes these proceedings as a ‘job interview with the American people.’ But in what solar system would a four-day job interview include a solid day in which the interviewer talks about himself?”

Second, an unsurprising realization that Roberts will doubtless be confirmed, likely by a large margin because he’s painting himself as a very moderate conservative. When asked by Specter on his views of Roe V. Wade he responded, “Well, beyond that, it's settled as a precedent of the court, entitled to respect under principles of stare decisis.” As for whether a right to privacy exists he said, “I do. The right to privacy is protected under the Constitution in various ways.”

And finally, as my brother pointed out, John Roberts speaks very well, unlike say, our President. Now, say what you want about multiple forms of intelligence; but the ability to speak clearly and intelligently about a variety of difficult issues should be a pre-requisite to holding a high position of power in the United States. So, how is it we can have a President who is unable to speak without a script? That’s a question for another day.

I Love the NYPD/I Hate the NYPD

I spent the fourth anniversary of 9-11 either bitterly disliking the NYPD or remembering how grateful I was and am that they along with the FDNY were and are there for all of us.

Let me explain. I woke up Sunday around noon and realized I needed to get home quickly lest I miss the kick off of the Jets game. I rolled off my friend's couch, purchased a bottle of water and began walking towards River Side Drive where I had parked my car the night before. As I reached River Side Drive at 108th street, I remembered I had parked my car far lower than usual because there were no parking spots between 106th and 109th where I usually park. So I began walking down River Side and vaguely wondered around 102nd street why there were so few cars parked on the street. Then I reached 98th street and it dawned on me that my car was gone.

Stolen? Towed? Damn it! When I noticed the white pieces of paper that had been stapled to a few trees by the police reading: "No Parking Sunday -Police," I realized my car must have been towed and I began silently cursing the police. I called 311 and was eventually sent to an automated machine that would tell me whether my car had been towed, where it was located and how much it would cost to retrieve it provided I supplied it with my license plate number. The fourth time the machine told me it had no record of my car being towed, I started to wonder if my car could possibly have been stolen.

On the advice of my mom, I tracked down the local police precinct, hoping they could tell me where my car was. Thank God they could. My car had simply been "relocated" due to its being parked along a parade route. It was now on River Side Drive and 108. Whew, I thought to myself, but when I walked to 108 and 109 and 110 I realized the car was not there. I called again, went through the whole process again, for some reason this particular 311 lady thought River Side was a Street or an Avenue and then wasn't sure which burough it was in, and then wasn't sure if it was on the east or west side of Manhattan. Anyway, she was finally able to connect to me the correct precint again and another police officer kindly told me my car had been relocated to 94th street and River Side. A short walk south confirmed his statement and I was was finally able to make it home for the second half of the Jets game. Of course, the Jets got killed.

After watching the Giants win and eating dinner I realized what an odd way this day, the fourth anniversay of nine eleven, had unfolded for me. For the approximently two and half hours I thought my car had been towed to Queens I was quite angry at the police. Except that every time I saw an off duty police officer visiting a small memorial on River Side Drive I was filled with reverance and respect. An off combination of emotions, but typical of how an average American feels about the police. We spend most of our lives either afraid of or angry at the police. We're worried they'll catch us going six miles over the speed limit, or smoking something illegal in a park. But on rare occasions like 9-11, or say a mugging, you wish there were 10 times as many police. I guess that's just one of those things.

Same Brendan Blog, New Brendan Blog Location

I spent a good portion of Monday moving my blog from Friendster to Blogspot. That was boring. I hope you all appreciate no longer being annoyed by friendster emails every time I update my blog. If you would like to view the orginal blog go to:

http://lynaughb.blogs.friendster.com/notes_from_middleground/

The Ticker Never Lies

"Bush: One of the worst disasters to hit the U.S."

This is ostensibly from Sky News out of Ireland. It hasn't been verified, but does it really matter.

Overheard at a Tennis Clinic

Upon discovering that there would be a boy on her court along with two girls and herself, nine year old Jessica turned her beaming eyes to me and said, "It should just be you and girls." I did not have a response to that.

Upon learning her father might be taking tennis lessons concurrently on a nearby court, twelve year old Adrienne (like from the Sopranos) was heard to exclaim, "Oh my God, no dad. I would rather die. Oh my God, no. You can't!"

During a spirited game of Jail, the object of which is to stay out of jail, young tennis players are given a forehand to hit. If they successfully hit the ball over the net and in the court they are safe and return to the end of the line, if they miss it they are in "Jail" and must put down their racket by the net and run to the other side of the court. Subsequently, should they succeed in catching the balls hit by other players they are let out of jail and can go back to the other side. The last person not in jail is the winner. After missing a ball, seven year old Jake, a future actor if I've ever seen one, grabs the spotlight and announces to everyone that, "I didn't FEEL like paying my taxes."

A Bit More Controversial

In the coming weeks we will start to see the true cost of Hurricane Katrina. First of course is the loss of human life. But there is also the economic loss, which will hurt America’s already slumping economy. “Hurricane Katrina could cost the U.S. over 400,000 jobs and shave up to 1 percent off the nation's economic growth in the second half of the year, the Congressional Budget Office said.”

Hurricanes cannot be stopped, but their terrible effects can be reduced. If far fewer people were living in New Orleans not only would fewer people have died, but also the economy would have suffered less. The spotlight is currently on New Orleans, but this arguments points to all area of the United States that are particularly dangerous to live in. I posit that it’s in the best interest of all Americans for more people to live in safer areas and fewer to live in dangerous places.

Contrast Hurricane Katrina with the recent Tsunamis. Entire countries in that part of the world are extremely vulnerable to horrible natural calamities. Yet, America is a vast place and still many people choose to live in very dangerous places. However, when disaster strikes, all Americans are forced to share in the burden through federal aid whether they chose to live in a relatively safe or dangerous place. To encourage people to live in safer places and ultimately save lives and help our economy, I believe we should reduce the amount of federal aid we give after disasters.

Now before you call me racist, elitist, fascist, communist, etc, please keep in mind I’m not suggesting we don’t help people in need or don’t make use of a FEMA that actually helps people. But the bulk of the relief money should come from the state or the city. This of course will make places that are more dangerous to live in also less attractive to live in, as people who chose to live in dangerous places will be forced to pay higher state and city taxes compared to those who live in safer places. As human beings respond to incentives, eventually fewer people will inhabit dangerous places thereby reducing the awful effects of predictable natural disasters.

Steven Landsburg makes a very similar argument Slate. Read about it at
http://slate.msn.com/id/2125822/

Now I can see plenty of counter arguments mostly because I’ve already engaged in a rather passionate discussion on this subject with a very smart person. For example, one might argue its not fair to ask people to leave because they may be unable to do so because of a lack of money, because of emotional ties, or any number of unfortunate circumstances. This is true, but no one is being forced to leave. They are merely being forced to accept the actual higher risk of living where they do.

One could also draw a comparison between natural disasters and terrorist attacks. Shouldn’t cities such as New York and D.C. be treated the same as New Orleans? They should be treated in a similar fashion, but there are significant differences. The main difference between terrorists attacks and natural disasters is that natural disasters will strike the same areas regardless of the size of the local population, while the likelihood of a terrorist attack depends upon the size of the city. To put it another way, earthquakes will always occur along fault lines whether or not cities are built along them. However, if Columbus, OH had a higher population than New York and contained the financial heart of the United States, then terrorist would be more likely to strike Columbus than New York.

With that in mind, I believe a good deal of federal money should be used to prevent terrorist attacks and to deal with the immediate aftermath, while a larger bulk of state and city money should be used for reconstruction. Whereas it should be primarily state and city money that goes into limiting the damage of natural disasters and paying for the reconstruction, while federal agencies such as FEMA should help with the immediate aftermath.

Not So Controversial Thoughts on Katrina

Our new Department of Homeland Security has performed abysmally. I’ve never been a Bush fan, but it doesn’t matter what your politics are; if this doesn’t outrage you, you aren’t paying attention. Michelle Malkin for god’s sake is asking Bush to fire Michael Brown, the head of FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) for his incompetence.

Clearly the Federal Government has dropped the ball big time. What’s most sobering is that this could easily have been another terrorist attack and after four years of promises from the Bush administration of “never again,” we still looked as dumb struck as we did four years ago. We even knew this “attack” was coming.

Drawing parallels between an actual terrorist attack and a natural catastrophe can lead to some interesting ideas and conclusions. For instance, this is exactly what the Department of Homeland Security was created to handle. How can they possibly be handling the relief effort so poorly? The Bush administration has repeated its mantra from 9-11 that no one could have seen this coming. Of course, just as members of the CIA saw 9-11 coming, so too did people see the levees breaking and horrific flooding occurring. Check brendanloy.com if you are skeptical of the latter claim; try the 9-11 Commission report for the former.

After 9-11, certain people and newspapers criticized the administration for a lack of preparation and of ignoring warning signs. After Katrina, many more people and newspapers again criticized the administration for a lack of planning, for ignoring warning signs and this time of gross incompetence in handling the aftermath. The big difference has been the counter response of the Bush administration and its right wing allies. Back in 2001, they were loudly able to squash any opposition by calling dissenters “traitors, enemy sympathizers and anti-American. They were largely successfully in painting those who disagreed with them as enabling the terrorists: “You are either with us or against us.” This time though, the Bush administration and its allies couldn’t label dissenters as being in league with terrorists or the enemy without leaving the confines of logic. Even for a group that claims to create their own reality, they would sound rather silly railing against “the liberals who are in league with the hurricane.” Like before, the administration has been forced to defend itself against charged of gross incompetence. But without the standard strategy of calling your political enemies un-American, they have been forced to find a new strategy to avoid taking responsibility. This time they have chosen to blame local authorities instead. To be fair, it appears there was gross mismanagement at a local and state level, but it appears the American people are getting the message that their federal government hasn’t been doing all it can to look after them.

For more passionate Bush slamming, check out Maureen Dowd’s column a few days ago in the New York Times. Although I rarely read her anymore, as a friend put it, “Normally she pisses me off, because she's clearly a good writer, but goes for the cute or facile most of the time.” I agree, but this time however she “hit the hurricane out of the park.”

The other aspect to this story is the standard, laudable American quality of being extremely generous to those in need. Americans pride themselves on being willing to donate money to those who have recently experienced great hardship. Take the Tsunami relief efforts for recent evidence. Yet, why is it that on the whole, Americans are not willing to give money for those less fortunate throughout the entire year? I’m talking about taxes of course. There seems to be an odd disconnect, as Americans are vocally generous after specific horrific events, but seem to shudder at the thought of their money going to people who were born in a horrific living situation on a regular basis.

Clearly there’s nothing un-American about being generous. So why can’t Americans see that paying higher taxes is the same as giving money to those in need. All we need is a transparent government that directs the money to effective relief programs to alleviate the sick, helpless and weak year round and an administration that chooses competent directors for its program. Alas, neither of those things is likely to happen with this administration, but we can always hope.

US Open Men's Quarterfinal

1. Federer vs Nalbandian: This should be a good one. Nalbandian is a very complete player who can keep up with anyone from the baseline. He should force Federer to play his best tennis, which I expect he will. Federer in 4.

2. Hewitt vs. Niemenen: I'll be honest, I don't know very much about Niemenen. If I was writing this piece for money and not for the 3-4 people who read my tennis entries I'd do a little research and come up with the same conclusion: Hewitt is looking very strong and should continue to roll. Hewitt in 3

3. Coria vs. Ginipri: This should be another wonderful match. Two very strong baseline players who do not give away many points. Coria survived a five set scare from Massu on Monday, while Ginipri needed five sets to topple the young Frenchman Gasquet. I'd give the advantage to Ginipri on the basis of his more powerful serve and ground strokes as well as the strong support of the partisan American crowd. Ginipri in 5.

4. Blake vs. Agassi: The headline match. American vs. American. The battle of the generations. Both guys have feel good stories and have always been crowd favorites. The winner will be as hard to call as who the crowd will root for. But in both cases, I'm guessing the young James Blake will take the day. Seeing Blake use his powerful serve and forehand to dispatch Nadal gives me the sense he will be able to win enough crucial points against Agassi. Blake in 4.

Fun With Names

A friend of mine recently informed me he has developed a harmless little crush on a blonde, German girl named Chris. Now, while I withheld my slight envy that I wasn't meeting blonde, German girls anymore, I realized how amusing it would be if my friend, also named chris, had a special moment with this girl. Perhaps it would go a little something like this:

Oh Chris!
Oh Chris!!
Oh Chris!!!
Oh Chris! Oh yes
Chris!
Oh my God, Chris! Yes!
Yes Chris! Right there
Chris!
Yes Chris! That feels so good Chris!
Chris! Oh my God
Chris!
Oh yes, Chris!
Please Chris. Don't stop Chris!
Oh you feel
so good Chris!Oh yes Chris!
Oh yes Chris!
Oh YES CHRIS!!!
OH YES CHRIS!!!
YES CHRIS!!!
YES
CHRIS
Oh chris....
oh chris....

hahahahahhaha, ok, I crack myself up. sorry that went on so long. hope it made you laugh a little.

US Open Day 8

I spent this fine Labor Day at the US Open viewing tons of exceptional tennis and several dramatic and suspenseful matches along with some living history. Martina Navratilova was winning tournaments before I could walk, let alone hold a tennis racket and yesterday she sparkled in her two doubles matches. I saw the first one as she teamed with Anna-Lena Groenefeld to produce a suspense filled three set victory over Li and Sun. Martina and her partner faced down three match points in the second set, before stepping up their play and cruising through the third set. Martina didn't hit the ball as hard as the other three players, but her tennis intelligence clearly dwarfed the younger players. She was the only one who served and volleyed and could effortlessly direct her volleys all over the court. It was an honor to see her play the game she loves.

We spent most of our time alternating being Louis Armstrong Stadium and the Grandstand. The Grandstand afforded us plenty of shade and lots of great doubles. The first match at Louis Armstrong was the epic four and half hour grudge match between Coria and Massu. We were at the top of the stadium and so were too far away to hear the trash talking between the two of them during a changeover in the fifth set.

But at the end of the day we got to see the most exciting match of the day between the Bryan brothers and Gonzalez and Massu. It was funny to see poor Massu return the same court in which he had fallen in a tough 5 set match hours earlier. A fair number of Chilean fans remained and along with the American created an atmosphere reminiscent of a college basketball game. The match started off with a bang as first the Bryans came back from love 40 in the first serving game to win five straight points to hold. Then, in the second point on Gonzalez serve, Gonzalez went right at one of the Bryan brothers who was on top of the net with a huge forehand. The Bryan brother blocked it back and was rewarded with an easy overhead which he slammed right at Massu.

The players stared at each other, each not happy with each other's actions and then the Bryan brothers uncorked their specialty celebration: the jumping chest slap. The rest of the match produced plenty of exciting points, but the Bryans with their rock solid volleys dominated from start to finish.All in all a great day of a tennis. If you're even a passing fan of tennis, do try to stop by. It a bit expensive, about 60-70 dollars for the day including the overpriced over cooked food. But you'll get over eight hours of top notch tennis. And a chance to see the sports superstars less than 20 feet away.

Joke Via Wonkette

I have a rehnquist joke for you - he's actually been dead for 4 days but fema
just found him.
Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job.

Haha

Email of the Week

umm, yeah, hi brendan, i was just wondering if your dreams are still rated PG? i
remember when we lived together they were and i've been thinking about your sex
dreams a lot lately...i think i speak for everyone when i say please let us know
ASAP. we'll be anxiously awaiting your next blog update. XO

Not quite sure if everyone really is curious, but hey I can't think of anything else to write about. It's quite funny, my sex dreams are just like PG movies. I meet a girl, do something romantic, maybe kiss a little and then we walk upstairs and close the door behind us. That's it. When I wake up, feeling rather unsatisfied, I sometimes try to go back to sleep to watch part 2. That rarely, if ever, works. And recently I haven't been having any sex dreams at all, which is kind of sad.

Anyone who would like to comment on their sex dreams of lack thereof are welcome to post a comment or email me. This includes those special people who like me traveled to Prague to slack off, drink beer and find themselves.

Speaking of that, have you guys seen the Family Guty episode in which Stewey talks about his plans to go to Prague after he graduates to slack off and find himself. Funny stuff.

Alright, I'm off to the US Open tomorrow so I'll have a full report on all the activities and goings on.

US Open 3-4

I watched Rafael Nadal get tested by an eighteen year old American I had never heard of before. Scoville Jenkins is his name and boy can he hit the ball. He got broken once each set, and had trouble making a dent on Nadal's serve, but it was inspiring to watch him battle and hold serve so often against the number two player in the world. Next up for Nadal is another American, the more accomplished James Blake who plays a similar game to Jenkins, perhaps a bit better. I wouldn't be surprised by an outstanding three set match, and based on Blake's recent performances an upset wouldn't be out of the question.

In an odd match, Agassi took out Karlovic in three tie break sets. Unlike his epic four set loss against Sampras at the Open, Agassi kept up his strong play in the tiebreaks, winning each of them. Today, Agassi rarely faced danger on his serve, easily dominated the baseline rallies and consistently demonstrating the lethal passing shots he's been known for. On Karlovic's serve, Agassi played well; hitting tough returns when he could and punishing second serves, but Karlovic's huge serve carried him through most of the games with ease.

A surprise to most, but a bit expected to me was Ginipri's clinical demolition of Muller. Ginipri's strong all around game as simply too good. Perhaps Muller's victory over Roddick took too much emotional energy for him to continue to play top class tennis. Here's rooting for Ginipri and Blake to join Roddick in the upper echelons of tennis and them to make a run along with Agassi at the Open.

Reader Email

One reader has some complaints with the blog.

You know that poster of a kitten holding onto a tree branch,
and it says 'Hang in there!' underneath, and 'it's so cute'? Now imagine it also
trying to hold onto the teeniest cutest tennis racket. Got that image in your
head?

That's your blog right now.

13 year-old girls in Japan absolutely love your work, and are
forming Brendan Lynaugh suicide clubs.

They love it!I don't. Are you a thirteen year-old
Japanese girl, Brendan? Before I follow their lead and kill myself,
please, please ditch the kittens.

No puppies either.

Ouch. I'll try to do better. Update, the reader did approve of my latest kitty cat update. in fact he used the word "apropos" in reference to it. That's a good thing. He went to Yale.

Another Kitty Cat Update

This one is for you Chris.Mom ran into Connie, the cat lady in town yesterday and told her about our kitty cat dilemna. Connie told her that we can contact the local animal shelter and they will come and take the cats, spay them and refrain from killing them while trying to find them homes. Hooray! All we have to do it capture the kitty cats. While we begin researching this, I encourage all readers to send in suggestions for trapping kitty cats. Are there any former animal control workers out there???

Kitty Cat Update

The kittens are still here off an on. They like to hide and play in the bushes which makes the bushes shake and us wonder, "whats going on in the bushes?" mom and i have named them. the black one is "midnight," the grey one with white markings is "socks," the orange and black striped one is "tiger," and the one with lighter orange and black stripes is "tiger two/too." we love them all, but i have a certain fondness for tiger. mommy cat is unnamed. readers far and wide are encouraged to send in names. if you are in the northern new jersey area feel free to stop by 27 concord for a viewing. for those who aren't willing to make the trek (u know who you are) mommy cat is mostly grey.btw. i refuse to edit or even read over a two minute entry about kittens.

US Open Days 1-2

Easily the biggest upset of the first two days and maybe the year was Gilles Muller beating Andy Roddick in three tiebreak sets. Why is this such a big upset? Andy had gone a perfect 16-0 in the first four rounds the past four US Opens and rarely in those matches was he in any danger of losing. So what happened last night. In the words of John McEnroe, his backhand was "beyond abysmal." Ouch. I didn't see the match, but it sounds like Muller played the match of his life, and was simply a bit better than Roddick on the big points. Muller also took out Nadal at Wimbledon so don't be surprised if he becomes a top 20 player before too long.

Next up for Muller is Ginipri on Thursday, but in a strange coincidence the two will meet on the court tomorrow to play doubles together. Look for Ginipri and his sound backhand to prevail in their singles match.

The feel good story of the year that is James Blake pulled off a solid upset of Greg Rusedski. Blake, who has come back from a broken neck, a case of Zostor a disease which paralyzed part of his face and the death of his father, is a free swinging American who the media constantly claims made the transition from Harlem to Harvard. Blake did attend Harvard for two years, and did practice in Harlem, but was raised in a wealthy Connecticut suburb. I don't mean to disparage Blake who is one of the nicest guys on the tour and a big fan favorite, but the way the media has hyped him is misleading at best, dishonest at worst. But I'll be rooting for Blake and his monster forehand to advance farther. Blake is set to meet Nadal in the third round, which should be an interesting contrast in styles. If Blake's serve and forehand are popping, look for Blake to continue the feel good story into the second week.

Other good matches to look forward to include Grosjean and Johansson, Ivo Karlovic and Agassi, and Srichaphan and Davydenko.

Handicapping the US Open

I fancy myself a bit of a tennis player and have often wondered if I could cut it as a sports writer. So here's my attempt to put my knowledge to work.

Top Player(s):

Roger Federer: Usually I would put several players in the "top players" category, but any serious observer is aware that Roger is in a class by himself. He has no weakness and can adapt his game to any surface. He's won the last twenty finals he has played in (I believe) and can seemingly elevate his game at will. But he has been pushed recently. Robby Ginepri took Federer to three sets and in the third set Federer didn't get the break to the tenth and final game. So, while Roger is the overwhelming favorite, he's not a lock like he was for Wimbledon.

Contenders:

Andy Roddick: The new face of American tennis. Huge serve, huge forehand and the rest of his game has improved as well. His slice backhand works well both on the defensive and as an approach shot. And his volleys have gotten solid. But opponents still pick on his backhand and when he tries to run around and hit his forehand he leaves a lot of the court open. But his biggest weakness his his footwork. While he is able to overwhelm most players with his big weapons, better players, especially Federer make Andy look slow on the court. Despite that, expect Andy to go far, unless he gets upset in a tough second round match against Robby Ginepri.

Rafael Nadal: The young gun with all the hustle, bravado, showmanship and shots anyone could ask for. His serve, which was once a liability has improved, though it still has a long way to go. Thanks to his heavy topspin ground strokes and unbelievable movement he is almost unbeatable from the basement; refer to the French Open. His volleys are serviceable and he wins points he has no right to even be in. This leads opponents to go for too much and over hit. Expect Nadal to advance far and he and Hewitt could produce fireworks in a potential semi final match. But Federer would likely prove too much for the young Spaniard.

Lleyton Hewitt: The brash Australian with big strokes and bigger heart, he feeds off the energy of the US Open. Like Nadal he always manages to get at least one more ball in play and can cause his opponents to over hit. He is great from the baseline, and his net play has improved in recent years. Look for Hewitt to go far although he faces a tough opponent in the first round in Albert Costa. The next seeded player he is set to face is the young American Taylor Dent who he should be able to roll over. Marat Safin, the toughest player in the draw withdrew, so expect Hewitt to make the Semis.

Robby Ginipri: Here's your Cinderella story, though is you look at his recent results it shouldn't come as a surprise that he could advance far. He looked to be in control of the match against Federer, and then Roger being Roger took it in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, Robby has a potential second round match with Andy Roddick. I can't imagine either one of them is happy about that. expect at least four sets and a lot of exciting tennis. Ginipri has great ground strokes especially from the backhand side, and has worked tremendously hard to improve his fitness and serve. If he gets past Roddick, expect him to go far.

Andre Agassi: The legend. Despite his advanced age, Agassi still has the shots and the intelligence to wear down his younger opponents. He faces a tough second round match against either Mardy Fish or Ivo Karlovic. Both of whom possess monster serves, so Agassi will have to have his A return game on if he wants to advance.

Kitty Cats

A kindle* of kittens has taken up residence in our back patio. Needless to say, they are adorable. There are at least four of them and today they began playing on our patio furniture hopping around all nimbly bimbly from chair to chair. Each kitten has different colored fur, some of them are quite dark, while others are practically all white with a few dark stripes. A mommy cat accompanies them at all times. We assume she had been suckling them, but now the kittens have grown too big.

Occasionally our house cat Nicky, more often referred to as "kitty," stares at them through the sliding glass doors. The kittens stare back at her and I wonder what they all make of each other.

Anyway, Sean and I made a brief case for "adopting" the kittens and putting food out for them, but that idea was quickly vetoed by mother. We're guessing the kindle* travels around to the nearby houses finding food wherever they can. Winter is still a few months off so hopefully the kittens will make it. But for now, they are an adorable addition to our backyard.

* indicates awesome new vocab word. Kindle: a group of kittens

Cheetahs in Texas

C. Josh Donlan writing at Slate offers an unusual solution to the possible extinction of African animals. His solution: slowly introduce the endangered animals to North America also comes with ecological and economical benefits for the United States. "Introducing managed elephant populations in the United States could help stave off these threatened extinctions and restore lost ecological function to North America if the animals eat and suppress the woody plants that threaten grasslands."

I have no idea how feasible this is, but it's fun to dream about seeing exotic animals in the Mid-West.

Reader Email

One kind reader points out some errors I've made and offers a suggestion:

good night’s sleep with no apostrophe???
capitalizing tennis instructor and writing teacher???
NO!!!Consider yourself spanked by your editor!!!

Now, finding a new, sexy picture of you with each new blog entry, THAT would be reason to keep reading!

He has a point. But please, don't hold your breathe for fun pictures on this blog.

Country Club Rebel

Yes, I work at a country club. Well, actually is a Tennis club. Upper Ridgewood Tennis Club to be exact. And the lovely sight of tennis players clad in all white is counteracted by the depressing similarity in the skin color of the members. You guessed it: white. Oh, and there's plenty of old money there. Basically the place has all the arrogance and hypocrisy of a wealthy, lily-white country club, without any of the nice stuff. Just seventeen tennis courts and a big screen TV.

I do have a certain fondness in my heart for it though, having spent many summers learning how to play tennis at the camp. Nowadays, life has come full circle as I currently work as an Instructor at the camp. This brings me the point of this post. From 12:30 to 4:30 the camp has use of courts 7-15. Since courts 1-4 are being watered at the same time, this means the members only have four courts. A minor annoyance, but surely after an entire summer the members might pick a better time to play their weekly tennis match.Not so for two wrinkled members, who have several times continued playing on court seven despite the presence of twenty youngsters who tried to stretch. Today was one of those days.

Now, I certainly will never be mistaken for James Dean, but something about unfairness of the situation and really the disrespect being shown by these older gentlemen got to me. So, as usually, I walked down the courts, opened the gate and walked towards court seven. As it turned out the wrinkled Trustees had just started a point. I could have waited for them to finish before walking over to the kids, but they shouldn't have been on the court. So I walked behind them while they played. This is a violation of tennis etiquette, but I felt I was in the right and I was angry and wanted them to say something.

Sure enough, one of them yelled at me never to do that. I stopped briefly and apologized, then continued walking as I was supposed to be watching the kids stretch. The man kept talking to me; he really wanted to chew me out. I kept walked to the fence, smiling gloriously to myself and put down my racket and water bottle. Then turned around and walked over to him. By this point, one of the other Instructors, Bill had perhaps seen a bad situation brewing and started talking to wrinkled Trustee. He was pissed and hypocritical beyond belief attempting to lecture me about disrespect.

That's about it. The guys said their piece, Bill explained the rules again, they finished their game and left. But I think I got under their skin.

Mommy Lynaugh Returns

After twenty days in the south of France, my mom has returned and I believe breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing her house still intact after almost three weeks of house sitting by her two sons. Sean and I had a great time with the run of the house, but it’s definitely great to have mom back. For starters, less pasta for dinner and more shrimp. Also, she is a great dinner companion. For example tonight I took her out for Greek food in Ridgewood. And by "took her out" I mean she drove and paid for dinner. It was wonderful though; nothing beats Greek salad, except for Greek dessert.Anyway, this is going to be my night off for the week. Hopefully I'll get a good nights sleep, for I have many an adventure planned for the upcoming evenings.

Introductions

I've been told when one starts a blog he or she usually devotes an entry to giving a brief description of him or herself as an introduction to the readers. (From now on I'm going to use masculine pronouns because I am a male) So, without further ado, here is a short description of one Brendan Thomas Lynaugh.

Born December 13th, 1980, Brendan was reputedly conceived during intermission of the 1980 ice hockey game between the United States and the Soviet Union commonly referred to as the Miracle on Ice. This may have set the tone for his life, as ever since he developed the hand eye coordination required to catch and throw a ball he has been playing sports of some kind.

As a child, he played everything under the sun, though as he grew older he settled on three sports: Soccer, Ice Hockey and Tennis. By the time he graduated from Ridgewood High School in 1999, he was devoting all his time to tennis in hopes of playing for Kenyon College come September. (He is now sick of writing in the third person and is switching to the first person)

I succeeded in making the team and for four years at Kenyon College I was a proud member of the tennis team. Currently, I enjoy playing basketball a good deal, and would play soccer if I knew more people who played.

Lest you think I am simply a jock who can spell. (Honestly I can't spell very well) My other big interest is books. I enjoy reading. When I was young my mom told people I had a voracious appetite for reading. I think I am a more moderate consumer of books at the moment. But besides playing sports, nothing makes me so happy as reading a great book. I also used to read science fiction/ fantasy paperbacks and would occasionally start reading while using the bathroom and then sort of lose track of time. Sean, my younger brother, joked that I read a book each trip to the can. haha. Funny kid.

I also try to write. And not just blogs. I studied Creative Writing at Kenyon College, and have worked at several Creative Writing Workshops as an RA. On the advice of my first writing teacher, P.F. Kluge I now strive to write three pages every day. I accomplish this most everyday. (The first few sentences in that paragraph sound a bit pretentious- I try not to be pretentious- sorry)

As previously mentioned I work as a Tennis Instructor at a local club, but have take other very random positions. For example, I was an English Teacher in Prague, a Canvas Director in Ohio during the General Elections, a Driver's Assistant with UPS during the "holiday season,' and a Campus Organizer for Americorps/ NJPIRG. Right now, I think I want to be a writer, and would settle for being a Writing Teacher. That would make for a lovely life.

I want to live in a city right now. But wouldn't be surprised if I settle down in a small college town in my late thirties. I like girls, especially smart ones. And the only thing better than a great night of drinking, is a delicious greasy brunch at a diner the next morning with good friends.

Guns Are Scary

True. Most sensible people are aware of this fact, though I do have one good friend who, despite being way left of center, enjoys firing guns with his Dad.

Anyway, last night I was down in Jersey City having dinner with Katie, a good friend from college, to celebrate her finally moving into her own place. And quite a lovely place it was and her pesto was even more delightful. After dinner and dishes we were enjoying the last drops of wine, when suddenly flashing red and blue lights shown through the drawn shades.

We looked outside and were greeted by the sight of at least a half dozen police cars parked right outside her window with at least twice as many uniformed cops. Literally seconds after we looked outside, we saw one cop pull his gun and move forward. It turns out I've never seen a gun be pulled in real life. And let me tell you, its a bit unnerving. I mean, really very unnerving. Large trees blocked our view of whomever he was aiming at, and with a mixture of excitement and nervousness we wondered what exactly was going on. We didn't hear any gun shots, though I did suggest that Katie lock her door, which sure promptly did. The cops were all surrounding one car and it took us a few second to realize the car was not a police car. The cops were shining their flashlights in the trunk, in the back seat, etc. We figure it must be drugs.

So that was my excitement for the week. Later, a friend with a police scanner called Katie and told her a local restaurant owner had shot someone he knew in the hand. As might be expected, this is not exactly what Katie was hoping for from her new neighborhood, but I think she'll be fine. I felt safe walking the three blocks back to my car.

Oh, and the other big news is that a good friend of ours from college is getting married. That is crazy!!! What is going on?

My First Post

Hi. First, I would like to apologize for the name of this blog. You see, it’s a bit misleading, but I hope once you read my brief explanation you will understand. See, I was trying to be clever. And as I thought through potential blog titles, I fondly remembered a conversation over PBR and cheesy bread at the Gambier Grill in which we, a group of RAs and Writing Teachers considered punishing our bright eyed creative writing students by forcing them to read "The Russians." We laughed hard as we imagined our budding young poets struggling with Tolstoy, Chekhov and Dostoevsky. Also, the image of "The Russians," clad in authentic outfits, trudging through Siberian snow to punish our students, by making them read their work made me laugh even harder. (I actually quite enjoy reading Russian literature, in particular "The Brothers K," and "The Lady with the Toy Dog.")

Anyway, I thought I would try to play off "Notes from Underground," and as it turned out, my Alma Mater, Kenyon College has a coffee shop named "Middleground." At this point you may be wondering, well Brendan, you won't be crowned 'cleverest boy in the room' for that one, but it seems appropriate, hardly something worth apologizing for. Well, dear readers, I have spent approximately forty five minutes in Middleground, for when I was a young, undergrad at Kenyon College it was named "The Red Door Cafe" and wasn't nearly so nice. It didn't even have wireless!!!.

So I would feel guilty if you read the name of my blog and imagined me writing from a trendy cafe filled with professors and students, philosophy books strewn around. No, a more proper image would contain me wearing tennis shorts, no shirt (its hot in jersey) sitting on a blue couch in my mom's sun room watching Sportscenter and eating an everything bagel with veggie cream cheese. But surely, you will agree "Notes from my mom's couch," isn't nearly so clever.So I apologize. But I did enjoy a wonderfully rich slice of carrot cake and cool glass of lemonade with my friend Liz that one afternoon in Middleground.